Dear
Professor Brad Blackstone,
My name is
Kenneth Sin and I am using this opportunity to introduce myself as a student in
your effective communication class, T6. I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic
with a diploma in clean energy management, having a keen interest in
sustainable energy and infrastructure, I am currently pursuing a degree in
sustainable infrastructure engineering (building services) program offered by Singapore Institute
of Technology.
Aside from academic
matters, I volunteer as a mentor for the Youth program in my church. I am
attending Bethel Presbyterian Church in Serangoon. I take great pride in nurturing
the youths of tomorrow, believing that one day they will use their talents and
gifts to bring people towards Christianity.
One of my
strengths in communication would be having confidence in public speaking. As a volunteer,
I interact with Christians from different walks of life, allowing me to socialize
with people of different ages and backgrounds. I take this mentor-ship program
as a platform to polish my communication and interaction skills.
One of my
weakness in communication would be the pacing of speech. Even though I have
plenty of exposure in public speaking, I would unintentionally increase the pace of my
speech as I will get nervous speaking to people. Resulting in people not being
able to clearly understand what I am talking about, requiring me to repeat the same
sentence multiple times.
My goal in
studying this module is to broaden my communication and writing skills. I hope
to refine my skills in public speaking and to improve my technical writing
skills. I intend to make full use of the given resources within this module to
work towards my goal. I believe that having you as our professor would greatly
increase my chances of success. I hope to work closely with you throughout the
semester.
Yours
sincerely,
Kenneth Sin
4 comments:
Dear Kenneth,
Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us.
Content: 8/10 - I like the fact that you included activities that you participate during your personal free time. Elaboration for strengths and weaknesses are substantial and concise.
Organisation: 9/10 - Every paragraph has a clear point and flows very smoothly into the next.
Language: 8/10 - I think the only notable error would from para 4, line 3, "Resulting in people not being able to clearly understand what I am talking about, requiring me to repeat the same sentence multiple times.".
action (increase pace of speech) -comma-> result (resulting in, requiring me to)
You can probably replace the sentence with... "People are not able to hear/understand me clearly, requiring me to repeat the same sentence multiple times."
I thoroughly enjoyed your blog post. Hope to read more of your posts! Come over to my blog to make some comments too. Thank you hehe.
Best Regards,
Pin Feng
Dear Kenneth,
I have found your introduction very insightful and enjoyed reading it. Below mentioned are some pointers I feel you can improve on.
Contentwise, I am not sure if including the church you attend necessary. I also thought there was a couple of preemptive statements which I felt could be better structured into a sentence.
For the organisation, It was well structured and everything flowed really well throughout which made sense.
As for your language used, I feel like you can change your would to will in a sentence that is still in the present tense.
Overall, had fun reading your post!
Best Regards,
Guyvan
Hi Kenneth,
Thank you for your introduction and sharing your interests. I am also interested in sustainable energy and infrastructure, and look forward to hearing your thoughts on those issues.
Content: The letter covers the points listed in the assignment.
Organisation: The letter is quite well organised, and the points flow smoothly from one paragraph to another
Language: Some parts of your letter looks weird. E.g 'having confidence in public speaking' could be 'being confident in public speaking' instead.
Keep up the writing!
Regards,
Xiang Tian
Dear Kenneth,
Thanks very much for this detailed reflection. I appreciate you sharing with us various aspects of your background, including your deep commitment to your role as a mentor in your church. It's also interesting how you connect the communication skills required of this role to a discussion of your weaknesses and strengths, and to your goals for this module. One addition you could make is to give a statement about where the source of your study focus lies.
Your letter exhibits a very positive attitude toward life in general and learning in this module. I hope the module lives up to your expectations.
Best wishes,
Brad
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